Friday, May 15, 2009

我的學生根本不會想起我。

教得多資質差的學生,人會變得悲觀,對將來失去希望。


懶的學生到處都是,香港的英國的,原來分別也不大。

上課從來沒有文具,一枝能寫的筆也沒有,更何況數學堂要用的計算機和間尺。然後,他們之間把文具拋來搶去,再懶一點的索性動也不動,「沒有筆」是硬道理。縱使有齊文具,要從筆袋拿出來也是很費力氣的。

進課室直至要他們抄筆記的一刻,枱面一本書都沒有,你不派簿我就坐著等。

抄筆記是很累的,約五十字的英文每堂也叫苦連天,”It really hurts.” 還要做堂課我的手還能用嗎?

抄不代表入腦,眼也不代表會閱讀,簡單的句子如 “Find the midpoint by dividing the sum of end values by two.”也要你面對面讀出來才明白,理解句子很累的。

對答案也很不容易,剛做完Ex.24E Q.1,你沒給頁數我就是找不到。



然後,懶的學生變成無賴。

校規說明上課不能去厠所,Jordan就整整一小時站在你面前,「我要在這裡尿了」、「我媽說尿急就要去厠所,誰也阻止不了」。

C君轉身九次跟後面的傾計,我警告他九次,懲罰升至放學留堂,他還是跟你說「你根本沒給我警告」、「我忘記了」和「我不在乎」。

E小姐吃香口糖給發現,馬上吐在右手,再藏在椅背,然後傳到左手,我什麼都看在眼裡,她還是會說「我口中沒香口糖」。

給發現吃糖果或是薯片,你叫我吐他們跟你吞,然後說「我吐不出來」。

還有四天會考,終於溫書,三位學生氣沖沖的說「你一直教我們的都是錯的」、「你上課教的跟精讀的完全不同」、「你教的根本不到要考的一半」,他們的例子是三角形面積,精讀說是底乘高乘二份一,我教的是底乘高除二。一群不自量力的會考生,妄想自己能及格,未出兵先告訴全級,「是我班的教師教所不善,幸好我看一看精讀,我勤力。」Grade E的問題如”Find the first five terms by substituting n=1,2,3,4,5 into 3n+2 .”,也理解不到為何3n+2裡的3n是指3xn,那怎麼做Grade C 問題如”Find the general term of the sequence 3,8,13,18,23,28...”他們有本事學,難道我會不想教嗎?我想看我花了一年心機的學生到頭來只能考得到F嗎?

電腦堂把鍵盤老鼠左拔右插,鄰座對面的一覺不留神,拔了鍵盤打不了字事少,重新啟動檔案盡失就欲哭無淚,要追查誰幹的?前後左右全都不是盲、啞就是聾,什麼都不知道。「我就是不知道為什麼右邊多了一隻老鼠,我傳給他是想他放在一邊,但為什麼在地上我就是不知道!」

點名喊到震天也不回應一句的O小姐,躲在桌下死不出來,找來當值老師,她又忽然在另一端走出來,「我聽不到她喊我,我一直在課堂呢!」



一直以來我硬食了很多,教數教電腦教科學教公民,每傳堂我就抱著一部一小時電量的電腦電線教具到處走,好不容易回到所謂我的課室,收拾完上節或午膳的亂象,學生一進來不是喊頭痛,班房小加十五部電腦,又熱又焗又嘈可想而知。一個月總有不下三五日有考試、面試、高層會議在一玻璃之隔的圖書館裡進行,明明在教書卻要較低聲量來控制那班憤青或憤童。

學校如能支持我,事情可能還好過一點,學生回家加醬加辣,懶學生當然有保護十足的家長,打到學校找科主任找中高層討公道,然後,我三星期內被觀課五次,兩次事前無通知,觀課報告一致好評後,才不得不承認,我的學生是很difficult。

是怎樣的安排才能編出一張時間表,只有一班教得兩小時的好班,四小時的攝教班(即其他老師撞時間,單一堂由我教) 其餘卅二小時都是底班或特殊教育需要的學生,這樣對待新上任教師的學校,留一年足已。


唉聲嘆氣有何用?此刻,我的學生,根本不會想起我。

Friday, February 06, 2009

港英教育制度 UK VS HK Edcuation System ~1~

快在這裡打了五個月的工,算是累積了「相當」的履歷,試撰文比較一下英國跟香港教育制度!

I have been working for nearly five months. Maybe it is time to compare UK and HK education systems.

一、 教室 與 課室
英國教師有屬於自己的教室,學生自會按著時間表報到,教室會按教師個人喜好佈置成所教科目的環境,學生的書本、功課本亦安放室內,方便取用。教師十分熟悉自己的工作環境,運用的教材亦會較多。

(喝罵學生最厲害的招數:「li度係我地方,再嘈同我出去!」。)

遇上不大有條理的教師,課室垃圾處處,坐椅書桌東歪西倒,做清潔的滿肚子牢騷,其名字傳遍校園清潔界,間或遇上小人物如我,亦會略知一二。

我這個新報到的東方人氏,被分派到雞肋般的教室,不!不能稱教室,稱電腦室也嫌太少,只得十六部電腦。勉強放得下十二張書椅,三張拼成一行才能有空間兩邊走動,中間的學生要協助,真的要身型細小如我才能擠進行與行間的空隙。在早上、小息、放學後或任何空堂,只要學生有需要,他們都能在我教室內使用電腦,人數一多聲浪自然擾人,課堂外還要動氣喊停很麻煩。午膳時,學習資源中心更全面接管,對學生完全開放,對於慢食的我並不是很大影響,但學生每天留下的爛攤子,看著中心人員一臉賠不是一邊收拾,其實我也不是很慘吧!

轉堂的秩序很一般,主要視乎下一課節的教師嚴厲與否,追逐、推撞和喧鬧多不勝數,教師做了鴕鳥,在自己的空間準備下一課節,混亂全由「維持秩序工友」監察,有效與否見仁見智。寒冷的冬天裡,文靜的學生躲在樓梯角也會被趕走,學習資源中心(等於圖書館)額滿即止,逼得全部學生也要嬉戲取暖,於是,不同班不同年級的學生很容易聚在一起,成績好的、頑皮的、胡鬧的、負責的、友善的……「近朱者赤,近墨者黑」,一點也沒錯。

香港的學生有自己課室,轉堂教師環抱著教材、咪、學生習作珊珊來遲,學生也樂得享受幾分鐘的放肆。要到特別室如電腦房,也要教師帶領往返,學生一刻不能放鬆。課室會按各班的合作性,壁佈上出現有其特色的設計,學生也喜歡在課室流連、聊天和做功課,歸屬感較強。


a) Teacher’s room VS Classroom
UK teachers have their own rooms. Students check their timetable and move rooms to attend different lessons. Teachers decorate the rooms according to their teaching subjects. Textbooks and exercise books can be left in the room. The longer the teachers have their rooms, the more teaching materials they collect.

(Indeed, the best way to stop the students from messing is to say, “This is my room. Behave yourself.”)

There are some rooms full of rubbish, chairs lying on the floor and desks in zig-zag rows. Our cleaning staff complain about those messy teachers who don’t care about their rooms. They gossip and I learn about teachers, though only their bad habits.

My room is not designed to be a formal teaching classroom. It is small and has only sixteen computers. However, I only use it to teach computer once every two weeks. The other 13 computer lessons take place in other computer rooms. My biggest Math class has 24 students and needs 12 desks and 24 chairs. Because the room is so small, desks must be pushed together and we can hardly walk between the seats. Luckily, I am skinny enough to squeeze into the gaps and talk to the students and answer their questions. Whenever the students need to and my room is free, they can ask to come in and use the computers. They can mess about and I get annoyed during my FREE lesson. During lunch time, Learning Resources Center(LRC) can take over and open my room to all the students. I have accepted the arrangement and I spend my lunchtime in the staff room instead. When I come back, the LRC staff clear the mess left by the students. They want to keep me happy. I appreciate this very much.

Once the bell rings, students leave one classroom and go to the next one. They rush, mess and scream but the teachers stay in their own classrooms. Supervisors monitor the students discipline instead.

On freezing cold days, students must stay out in the cold corridor, outdoor or playgound at breaktime and lunchtime. The only warm place is the LRC and it can only hold forty students. Why can’t they be running and messing about to keep themselves warm? They split into groups with similar characteristics, e.g. quiet, good academic results, naughty, disruptive, responsible, well behaved…etc. Safe in their group, students of each type develop their characteristics to extremes.

In Hong Kong, students stay in their own classrooms and teachers come to them. They send students to Staff Room(Teachers' office) to get exercise books or teaching materials. In between lessons, students do enjoy the few minutes free time before teachers arrive. To go to special rooms, like computer room, teachers need to lead them quietly in order. The students spend their free time in their classroom and become more united. They like to stay in school to play, talk and even do their homework. They can develop the sense of belonging to their class group more.

Monday, January 05, 2009

2008 Review and 2009 Resolution

Last year, my resolutions included buying a bike and joining a hiking club. I joined the An Oige hill walking club.

I remembered on the first day of 2008, Peter and I drove to Parnell Street in Dublin and paid 40 euros for a second hand bicycle. Peter helped me adjust it to my height and greased the chain. Although I had an accident several days later, it did not stop me from cycling to and from work. Even with my poor sense of direction, I managed to cycle everywhere within an hour’s cycling distance. I was told that my bike was heavy and it was damaged a bit from the accident. Because of this it made me very fit!

I started hiking with An Oige on 6th January 2008 with Wendy, who was one of my Hong Kong housemates. It was an easy hike and the group took a rest every 15 minutes. I moved up to the moderate hike the week after and joined the hard hike a few months later.

I met a lovely old hiker named Brendan Dempsey who is 80 years young. I drew him a Chinese painting for his 80th birthday. I made friends with Angela and moved to her and her boyfriend's house in late June. Around the same time I met Philip, with whom I fell in love.

I tried my best to save money from the moment I arrived in Ireland. My housemates and I did not even use the heating system and took as much as we could from work. Still, I was happy because the job was simple and I had plenty of time to develop my hobbies. However, from July I was becoming stressed about my U.K. work permit application, undesirable working conditions at Butlers, my living conditions and my love relationship. Things were going in directions I did not want and I felt I had no control over them. I was disappointed and complained a lot, even when I went travelling in Italy for three weeks.

Maybe you are aware that my U.K. teaching job is not going well. I only learned I was being kept on the 16th of December. Also, after going through Philip’s birthday, my birthday and our first holiday together, we finished our romantic relationship. I can’t believe I have been going through on disappointment after another for half a year. That is too long for me. It is time for change.


My 2009 New Year’s resolutions are to buy another bicycle, join a cycling club, become friends with Philip and integrate into the U.K. lifestyle.

I spent my Christmas holidays with Adrian, a classmate from University living in Paris. We planned the holiday through email and gTalk. He bought a microphone especially for chatting. Finally he bought a train ticket one week before our holiday. On the holiday we talked a lot and had a good time. There are plenty of places to visit around England, places I wanted to see.
081220_27-England_West

I spent my New Year’s with my Irish hiking friends in the Peak District in the north of England. Angela told me about the hiking trip and I was very keen to join them. I could not get a booking for the first night and kept ringing the hostel to see if there were any cancellations. Finally I rang that morning. I was lucky, there was a cancellation and I set out on the seven hour journey to get there. We hiked for three days and I shared my experiences since I had left Ireland for the U.K.
081228_090101-Peak_District

Not everyone has the opportunities I have. I had refused to see them and had confined myself to my little flat. I am not strong enough in myself. It was unhealthy to hurt myself to get attention. I was lost and forgot what is important to me.

But, I know I will be ok.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

《Share》Short Films

My UK life should not only be school and my flat. I collected information from the library and decided to watch the Award winning short films shown by Hitchin Film Club. Among seven watched, I would like to share the following two with you.

Goodbye to the Normals
Director: Jim Field Smith
Writer: George Kay
Release Date: 5 December 2006 (UK)



I was surprised that the parents did not stop him. The kid was full of confidence and believed he knew the way of their world. Like travelling to America by boat, no need for school......etc. Parents protect their kids so much from difficulties and sadness that children think no harm exists outside their home. We will see how they survive in ten years time.



Hibernation
Director: John Williams
Writer: John Williams (writer)
Release Date: 2005 (UK)


When death becomes hibernation forever, would it be easier to accept? The kids were so sincere and would do anything to bring their friend back. It was sad to know the truth.

Monday, December 08, 2008

漫畫分享《星光墜在希伯來》

從《IGT偵探趣味》看到這套還在連載中的小品漫畫,說的時空是德國納粹屠殺猶太人,故事不太複雜,看起來很舒服,跟日本每每感到的大格局、華麗的電影分鏡和伏線處處比起來,當然不及人家工業級規範,但我就是佩服台灣人能在日本動漫霸權下仍有這份勇氣去開創市場,也來這裡轉貼支持一下。

《星光墜在希伯來》



第1曲-上帝的靈藥
http://www.comibook.com/read.php?art_id=249

第2曲-奧斯威辛
http://www.comibook.com/read.php?art_id=321

第3曲-灰色賦格曲
http://www.comibook.com/read.php?art_id=371

第4曲-薩米耶的子彈
http://www.comibook.com/read.php?art_id=392

第5曲-復活
http://www.comibook.com/read.php?art_id=433

第6曲-競爭對手
http://www.comibook.com/read.php?art_id=476

第7曲-逾越節
http://www.comibook.com/read.php?art_id=534

第8曲-救贖
http://www.comibook.com/read.php?art_id=568

第9曲-追憶
http://www.comibook.com/read.php?art_id=594

第10曲-相對位置
http://www.comibook.com/read.php?art_id=644

第11曲-接近
http://www.comibook.com/read.php?art_id=662

第12曲-陰影
http://www.comibook.com/read.php?art_id=176

第13曲-曙光微亮
http://www.comibook.com/read.php?art_id=174

第14曲-泛聲流轉
http://www.comibook.com/read.php?art_id=175

第15曲-發端
http://www.comibook.com/read.php?art_id=177

第16曲-異同
http://www.comibook.com/read.php?art_id=718

第17曲-價值
http://www.comibook.com/read.php?art_id=734

第18曲-集合
http://www.comibook.com/read.php?art_id=757

第19曲-破碎
http://www.comibook.com/read.php?art_id=760

第20曲-武器
http://www.comibook.com/read.php?art_id=787

第21曲-音樂盒
http://www.comibook.com/read.php?art_id=788

第22曲-杜蘭朵
http://www.comibook.com/read.php?art_id=807

第23曲-波紋
http://www.comibook.com/read.php?art_id=815

第24曲-共鳴
http://www.comibook.com/read.php?art_id=383

第25曲-脫出
http://www.comibook.com/read.php?art_id=633

第26曲-交錯
http://www.comibook.com/read.php?art_id=784

第27曲-和弦
http://www.comibook.com/read.php?art_id=837


在博客來能買到的簡嘉誠作品

http://tinyurl.com/66659b

出版:全力出版

Saturday, November 29, 2008

我已成年吧!

良久沒有一篇認真的中文文章,愧慚。

想來這裡發佈頻繁之時,不是感情遇上挫折,就是工作上不如意,簡而言之,肯定是遇上麻煩事。然後,自命清高無人能理解,卻在這塊耕作了數年的地方,留下煩惱絲。


事情,走錯第一步,還一頭栽進去,犯賤的是自己。

明知道要離開,還開始一段感情,以為能抽身,以為有更好的選擇,怎料他斬情絲更快更狠。然後胡胡塗塗的投入另一段更複雜的關係,以為學乖了,卻被徹底利用了,離場身段極為醜陋,掙來的經驗值根本不值一晒。唯一的理智,是投入另一段時限更緊迫的感情,以填補破碎的心,但被情感牽著走,最後還是捧著傷痕疊疊的心。

痛,只令我跌得更痛。


十月前的我,其實一點也不想在英國教書。我只想在華人以外的地方,找一份專業,體驗一下外國另一個階層的文化。幾個機緣巧合,外加前愛爾蘭男友的關係,勉為其難接下這份工作。

開工前兩日,即生日後一天,二零零八年八月三十日,前男友提出第一次分手。那一刻,天崩了,聲淚俱下,我究竟為什麼要在英國教書呢?

然後,關係苟延殘喘。

參與了細佬的婚禮(九月廿七日),由香港搬來一大堆東西,準備重整旗鼓,「我會做好呢份工」。才兩天(十月八日),校長直說我的表現不符他期望,三星期沒改善,會登廣告另聘高明。開學才教了三星期,香港土薯還在想Fish and Chips 的薯條為何不像麥當勞的那般粗!經過半小時的討論,換多個半月的觀察,一年的合約代表什麼?舟車勞頓到地球的另一邊換不來一個月的試用期。

學期中一星期的假期,前男友好不容易安排了到馬德里島散心,事後九天(十一月十一日),他再提出分手。這次天沒崩,心碎滿地。心情起伏太大,一次又一次。


孤身在英國,學校同事各忙各,各人有自己課室,各自為政,平時以電郵溝通,五時學校早已人去樓空。全校教師只我一人來自地球的另一半,有苦自己知。人事複雜,人心惶惶,各人神經繃得緊緊。

三個月以來,波折重重,身心俱疲。


我的第一次(跳貼身舞)我都希望同王菀之分享

人越想就越容易走進牛角。坊間這麼多情歌、愛情小品、偶像劇……處處營造沒有愛不能活得完滿的氛圍,是的,我是嚮往的一份子。

這幾年,台劇《王子變青蛙》、《愛情魔法師》、《天使情人》、《剪刀石頭布》、《命中注定我愛你》,因網絡的發達,我竟然全部收看完畢,越發把愛情浪漫化,視為生命中最為重要的事。

其實,像賞畫一樣,退後一步,才能看到大局。

廿八歲,我終於認真反思「專業」和「成人」的真義。教師作為一份專業,究竟要達到什麼的水平?知識、手段和幽默,遊走每一個課室都應付自如吧!成年有十的我,應該知道現實的殘酷,負起每個決定的後果,恰當地處理自己的情緒吧!

我對愛情的態度是工具性的,一種情感上的倚賴,希望自己受重視、被理解,再而把對方神化,成為自己生活的全部。

我的愛情,一直都不成熟。


我很幸運,有很多朋友。他們都很關心我,在香港,有廿七年交來的親友;在愛爾蘭,有同居同路人、熱心熱情的同事和「健康」的行山友;在英國,沒有。原來,一份穩定的工作,是生活的基本,沒有足夠的收入,連發展自己興趣、社交圈子的動力也欠奉。

我認識的自己:
不輕言放棄,智慧肯定有,能力多元化,體能中上,外表看心情。


我可以的,愛自己多一點,珍惜自己所有多一點。回看年半前的我,瘦得我也嚇一跳;今天的一兩公斤,應留來保暖。別瞎眼,世界那樣大。

Friday, November 21, 2008

My students

We have an enterprise Math lesson. I got the teaching materials and lesson plan yesterday. It took me an hour to modify the lesson plan for my Year 9 set 6 students(中三底班). Instead of knitting on soft A4 papers, I printed the design on the harder cards. I cut the thread into suitable length to avoid the mess. I left school at eight but it worth once you saw their smiles.

We had a wonderful time together. Using straight lines to build parabola, design a Christmas Card or others for sales. Be careful. Needles could be dangerous and the long threads would easily get into knots. They focused very well and made the card very nice with the computers. Even my head of Math department needed to take two samples from my class to show others.


What a big encouragement and satisfaction to them! I can only keep three cards for display as they all wanted to give their parents or friends.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

不悔

回復單身了。

約年半前的一個早上,單身了好一陣子的我看罷《生日快樂》:

「我曾經說過:愛情的意義就像義無反顧的赴死,你是否願意被完全覆蓋或者“任人宰割”。沒有奉獻的愛情永遠只是一時快樂的激情。」

不過是幾句戲評。然後,我決定了。


「到手了便不會珍惜。」
「送花有得屌,送!」
「大家各取所需,開心就好。」
「最深的愛是遠遠祝福你。」
「……」


回首沒有遺憾,淚痕早被抹去,要分手有著許多疑似理由。然後,我明白了多一些。

張小嫻說過,要忘記失戀的痛,藥方是時間及新歡。

說起來,我不能老是掉進這個循環。

Monday, November 10, 2008

The show must go on


My boyfriend wanted to cheer me up with a lovely half-term holiday. We spent a week in Madeira, Portugal. The weather was not always great but still we had a good time. My first time to walk along the Levada what people used to irrigate the farms in the old times. The island was hilly but people lived everywhere. Usually the countryside people stayed uphill and farmed. They were nice and knew the bus timetable very well. The rich people lived in the touristic area/coast/towns which were very well developed. There were high building, new apartments, modern shopping centre and late night life.

The only tragedy happened when we tried to cross a river. I could not convince myself to jump across the fast flowing river and instead, made a very bad suggestion. We put a long log to be the bridge so that I could step on it. Philip was worried and tried it himself even though he could jump across. I was stunned when I heard the cracking from the log and he fell into the river. He managed to jump a little upwards to the other side. His hip hit the stone badly under water but he got safely across. He was angry that I did not listen to his advice and he said it would have be en me if he did not try first. I felt very sorry. He jumped back to my side and we crossed the river at the shallow part of the river. It's better you get across safely with wet feet, rather than risk breaking your neck and keeping your feet dry.

After that, we could not do hard hikes anymore. He found it painful even sleeping. SORRY.

Overall, it was very relaxing to sleep nine hours every day. We made seafood dinner together and enjoyed the company. I knew he was depressed after the accident but I believed he would recover very soon.


After the holiday, the school days were quite busy. My department head, EB, was leaving. My broadband got connected after TWO months. I am not certain with my future because of the job situation.

That is life. Nothing is easy.

Monday, September 15, 2008

回港行程(更新中)

PLEASE EMAIL ME FOR ARRANGEMENT. I CANNOT USE MSN OR ICQ.


08.09.26(五) 15:50 抵赤蠟角機場,爸爸接機。18:00 髮廊
08.09.27(六) 弟弟結婚大日子
08.09.28(日) 晚:女班長動議4D聚
08.09.29(一)
08.09.30(二) 午:回覺光跟舊同事午餐(LKH召集)、學生聚舊。晚:跟y99莊員吃飯(蛇主召集)
08.10.01(三) 午:小黃動議中同聚
08.10.02(四) 回大嶼山探婆婆
08.10.03(五) 午:與前同屋吃飯(BenBen召集)。晚:y98,y00(Annie's web召集)
08.10.04(六) 晚:跟家人吃飯
08.10.05(日) 08:45 啟程回英國黑琴(Hitchin)

小女子十分想念大家,奈何匆匆九日,能做的有限,請儘力把我的行程填滿,好讓我帶著滿滿的親情、友情、師生情回英國,在外再多戰一年。